A Lot of Questions

I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this diary. The goal is to be completely annonymous and to constantly delete it from my history so that my fiance doesn't find it. Why have it then? Good question. I want somewhere to talk about things. Somewhere no one knows me. Somewhere I can talk about being engaged, getting married and eventually the marriage itself.

I've lately been wondering how people decide where the line is that someone has to cross before they cancel their wedding of file for divorce. How much should be forgiven? How do people keep forgiving? How do you make black and white of so much grey? If you're having doubts prior to the wedding should you call it off? Doesn't everyone have some kind of doubt? I'm sure that a certain percentage of divorced people walked down the aisle thinking they "knew" it was the right thing to do and had no doubts.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that with less than three months until the wedding, part of me is scared out of my mind and part of me is excited to get married. I know that there will be tough times. Hell we've already HAD some really tough times. That's where my questions on forgiveness come into it. If you love someone and vow to love, honor and cherish them all the days of your life, does that mean your forgiveness should be limitless? Are there things that are unforgiveable?

My parents are divorced and the thought of ending up the same is unappealing to me. Especially after we have kids.

Anyway, that's enough for now I think. I have to go and find out if there is anything decent on TV today. The thought of hitting Target or Kohls is somewhat terrorfying.